No. Patterns. No. 

New patterns. 

All this work. All this time. 

All these words. 

All these actions. 

No. 

Reality or not. 

No. 

But why then?

Why write this?

Why think about it?

Why have you BEEN thinking about it. 

You know that it is absolutely ludicrous.

You can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself. 

You don’t love yourself. 

You know the way life goes. 

The way it is going. 

This isn’t reality. 

This isn’t you. This isn’t it. This is not real. 

I’m going to puke. 

This is the end. 

After all this time whatever the end is. 

It’s here. 

And the end. 

You failed. 

All the work. 

You failed. 

Now, you have to decide whether this is theend of your toxic cycle. 

You need to decide what is next. 

Do you know what you want?

Guess what….

The reality is the messages were real. 

The events in your life-

they’re real. 

Why is still in the air. 

But if it’s thing one or thing two or thing three. 

What do you decide. 

What about option 4. 

Move on with everything. 

I think what’s best is to put a pin in it.

Go back to focusing on what’s important.

You and those kids.

That’s what matters.

So push that other crap down.

Keep doing the work on you.

Nothing needs to happen at this exact moment.

No more huge decisions. 

No more big moves.

Let’s get the goals you already set in place, accomplished.

The rest will fall where it needs to.

You don’t need someone to make you whole.

Besides those kids.

Show them you can be happy within yourself.

That it is important to find yourself.

The happiness will follow close behind.

But your kids need to see you be you.

So they can learn it too.

Remember Mama-

You’re here to break cycles.

Start here.