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You know that feeling—

when your stomach turns,

your hands shake,

and your eyes can’t keep still.

When time seems to speed by…

while freezing.

Your head feels like a patch of downy, unstoppable beads

as they’re poured into a fully loaded washing machine.

Your intuition is screaming—

like a little girl on a roller coaster for the first time.

But then—

there’s the doubt.

That doubt hits like a brick wall.

You second-guess so much,

you have yourself all mixed up—

you don’t know up from down,

or right from left.

Then that gut-wrenching feeling creeps its way back.

You’re hurting.

Because something isn’t right.

Because all the possibilities

still lead to another crack

in your already shattered heart.

The one they chiseled carefully enough to keep it together,

but so mangled

you can’t even tell that before the trauma…

it was a heart.

The pit in your stomach widens

as their behavior gets more conspicuous—

while pretending to be oblivious.

You’re swimming in a sea

of betrayal,

lies,

deceit,

embarrassment,

and tragic events.

But you’re the one being betrayed.

So the lies and secrets and dishonesty?

They leave you here.

Stuck in your head.

Playing… then replaying…

on repeat—

all the horrible things they could have done.

Then comes the defeat.

Because even if you do find something,

it’s never the truth.

It’s just a

blame-shifting,

deflecting,

gaslighting,

fight that changes nothing—

except your self-worth.

And their new, more careful approach to lying.

---

Then there’s the relentless attempt

to make you question reality.

Feeling like you’re lost in an ocean

of uncertainty,

delusion,

fear,

and heartbreak.

Your demeanor stiffens.

Your eyes narrow.

Your throat pulses

with your heartbeat—

a climactic drum solo played within.

And still—

you have to survive

whatever life throws next.

Eventually,

you get good at noticing the signs early.

You’ve got your “I’m sorry, we have to go” excuse

ready to avoid the public humiliation

when the storm reaches its worst.

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But the most earth-shattering thing?

The abuse

hidden in plain sight.

The fight earlier in the day,

left unresolved,

quietly eroding your self-esteem.

Then the showman enters.

Awes the crowd with charm,

with uninvited problem-solving.

Everyone fawns.

“Wow, he’s so involved.”

“You’re lucky.”

“I wish my husband helped like that.”

Meanwhile,

you’re still bleeding

from the wound he caused

with silence, blame, and manipulation.

You want to scream:

He’s not who you think he is.

He might be pure evil.

But you don’t.

Because maybe,

even you are questioning it again.

The name-calling.

The blame.

The silent treatment.

The unsolved fight he now pretends never happened.

Now he’s wrapped in his cloak of deception.

Playing the hero.

Serving praise.

Complimenting you.

Folding out your chair

with your favorite drink

and the perfect view of the baseball field.

---

The world feels too big.

You lower your head.

Raise your shoulders.

Avoid conversation.

You seem cold, ungrateful.

People whisper it in their looks.

That “bitch” vibe—

unspoken, but loud.

A few people see through him.

Not to the evil,

but just enough to know

he’s a tool.

They speak softly, sympathetically.

Not with empathy.

Because they’d never let anyone treat them like that.

I used to think that too.

But nobody gets a terms and service agreement

before a relationship.

And honestly?

Who reads those anyway?

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This was planned.

A perfectly executed manipulation and control maneuver.

By the time you realize it’s happening,

you’re already

tired,

confused,

brainwashed,

barely standing.

You’re tangled in a web of lies and control,

just trying to survive the next blow.

Too defeated to try.

---

But it can’t end there.

An endless pit of despair?

A cyclone of the same behaviors

in different scenarios

spinning and spinning

until everything is destroyed?

No.

Because when it really hurts—

when it’s the most difficult—

that’s when the storm starts to shift.

That’s the first step

in stopping the chaos.

That’s when you fight back.

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Eminem said it perfectly in Love the Way You Lie:

“When a tornado meets a volcano.”

I take it further.

The tornado can spiral forever—

over and around the volcano.

But a volcano?

A volcano eventually erupts.

And when it does?

It swallows everything

with fire and fury and beauty and rage.

The tornado—

that got complacent,

thinking the volcano would stay dormant forever?

It becomes

a light breeze.

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The eruption is terrifying.

It destroys.

It burns.

It ends things.

But the volcano doesn’t stay violent.

Its lava cools.

It settles.

And it becomes the foundation

of something new.

Volcanoes create islands.

The pain becomes the ground beneath you.

The hardened magma becomes your strength.

And one day—

you build a new life on top of it.

It might not feel like home yet.

It might feel eerie and strange.

But give it time.

And it becomes

the most beautiful place

you’ve ever stood.

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have you ever been the volcano?

are you now?

drop a comment.

you’re safe here.

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