I think the world is finally starting to understand this word.

We all seem to agree—it’s bad. It’s abuse.

But I don’t think people truly understand just how damaging it really is.

Gaslighting doesn’t just make you doubt an argument.

It doesn’t just make you second-guess a conversation.

It demolishes you.

All of you.

Down to the smallest, most mindless moments.

I’m talking about walking into a gas station

And feeling too uncertain to tell the cashier how much money you need on what pump.

I’m talking about needing to make an important phone call—

And not being able to do it.

Or even just calling your friends, your family—people who love you—

And feeling paralyzed.

You question everything.

Your past decisions.

Your future possibilities.

Your own thoughts.

And those future possibilities?

They get smaller.

And smaller.

And smaller.

Until you’re sitting in your room 85% of the time

Too scared to leave.

Not because of the outside world—

But because you can’t tell the difference between reality and manipulation anymore.

And the worst part?

The only person you seek validation from

Is the one causing the chaos in the first place.

When I see someone else trapped in this cycle,

My heart aches.

I want to grab them—

Pull them in—

Hold them tight and say:

You’re not crazy.

This is real.

And it’s wrong.

I want to tell them, You are not alone.

But the truth?

I’m still one of them.

I’m still in it.

Still stuck in a whirlpool of delusion and fear.

Still being kept on breadcrumbs and lies.

Still hiding behind shame and regret.

Still battling every thought.

But you know what else?

I’ve managed to grab myself.

To pull myself in and say the words I so desperately need to hear.

And finally—sometimes—I believe them.

It’s getting easier to say no.

My stand is a little taller.

My words are a little fewer.

My energy is going to healthier places.

I may still be fighting.

But at least I’m fighting.

And one day, I won’t have to fight anymore.

One day, I’ll take everything I’ve survived and use it to pull someone else out.

To build them up.

Because I’m doing it for myself now.

Because through experience, I’m learning.

Because through practice, I’m creating something in myself I didn’t know was possible.

I am taking care of myself.

I am putting myself first.

I am figuring out what I want.

And I’m doing it while still coming in and out of reality with my abuser.

Still hearing his words.

Still feeling the weight of manipulation.

But he’s running out of gas.

And my light?

My light is shining too bright to ever be dimmed by his again.